


Welcome to the Madhouse

by Orithain, Rina9294



Series: The World According to Rover [10]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-31
Updated: 2013-07-31
Packaged: 2017-12-21 19:39:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/904099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Orithain/pseuds/Orithain, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rina9294/pseuds/Rina9294
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An outtake from Carts & UAs & Cake wherein Major Lorne gets his man.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Welcome to the Madhouse

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted September 2005.  
> Edited slightly to change their names which we learned after this story was written.

Carrying a pack that he’d filled with a bottle of Athosian hooch and some crackers, cheese and fruit he’d scammed from the mess, Evan Lorne strode out onto a high balcony in an unused section of the city, his eyes immediately going to the attractive Canadian sergeant waiting for him.

"I guess we’re both early," he said, his smile widening as he met the warm brown gaze.

"Being late means you lose out on the best stuff," Chuck laughed, sitting up and smiling at the American major. He was shirtless and had been lying on a large blanket, and he waved at the space beside him. "Have a seat, plenty of room."

"Nice view," Evan said, his eyes on Chuck rather than the ocean. He pulled his own shirt over his head and sat down on the blanket to unlace his boots and pull them and his socks off.

"Ditto." Chuck grinned, leaning back on his elbows again. "I like coming out here to get some sun when I can. Glad you decided to join me."

"So tell me, is this a clothing optional resort?"

Chuck’s smile widened, flashing white against his lightly tanned skin, and he reached down, undoing his shorts and shoving them down over his hips before he kicked them aside. "That answer your question, Major? Oh, and before you call me Sgt. Bryan again, once I’ve been naked with someone, they can call me Chuck."

"In that case, I think you should call me Evan." Lorne shed the rest of his clothes and stretched out on his side next to Chuck, first exploring every inch of him visually and then reaching out to follow suit with his hand.

"Good to meet you, Evan," Chuck murmured, rolling to his side and sliding a hand behind Evan’s neck to kiss him, his open mouth demanding that the other man respond the same way.

More than eager to enjoy this encounter, Evan pressed closer, one leg slipping between Chuck’s while a hand slid down to cup the Canadian’s ass. Chuck pressed closer, rubbing against the stockier man’s body, his own hardening at the sensation of warm, smooth flesh against his.

"Oh fuck, that’s good," Evan rasped, rolling to his back and pulling Chuck over him, both hands now on the younger man’s ass.

"Me sucking you would be even better," Chuck purred, grinding between Evan’s cock and his hands.

"Please help yourself," Evan groaned, pressing a thigh up between Chuck’s legs.

Chuck gave a raspy laugh and kissed Evan again, running his hands through the short, dark brown hair before sliding them down Evan’s chest, and he squirmed backwards, licking his lips in anticipation. Raising his head to watch Chuck’s progress, Evan propped himself up on his elbows, licking dry lips. He spread his legs invitingly, his eyes heavy-lidded and intent on Chuck.

Pausing only to lick his way over Evan’s broad chest, Chuck nipped at the hollow of his navel, his chin nudging at the head of Evan’s cock.

"Tease," Evan chuckled throatily, combing his fingers through Chuck’s short, light brown hair.

"More fun that way," Chuck laughed against Evan’s groin before pulling back and swallowing the thick erection to its base.

"Whatever you—oh fuck!--say," Evan groaned, not about to disagree with the man who was trying to suck his spine out through his cock and doing a damn good job of it. Chuck growled in response, enjoying the way Evan shuddered because of the vibrations, and rubbed his hands over the inside of Evan’s thighs, massaging the tense muscles as he swallowed.

"N-not gonna last long," Evan warned him, involuntarily thrusting into Chuck’s mouth.

Chuck managed to shrug one shoulder though he did pull back enough so that he’d be able to taste Evan when he came.

Sparing a brief, grateful thought for the battery of medical tests that ensured that no one needed a condom, Evan slid his hands to Chuck’s shoulders and bit his lip to hold back his cry of completion as he came.

After swallowing down the salty liquid, Chuck licked at Evan’s cock until he shuddered, then lifted his head, smiling sensually up at the other man. "Mmm, you taste good," he purred.

"C’mere and let me taste for myself." Evan curled a hand around the back of Chuck’s neck and pulled him into a kiss, tasting himself. Long moments passed before they separated again, Evan licking his lips. "There’s lube in my pack," he hinted.

Somewhat surprised at this turn of events, Chuck nevertheless wasn’t going to turn down the opportunity, and he grinned as he sat up and grabbed for the pack. "Nice spread," he laughed, pulling out the food and alcohol before finding the lube. "We can enjoy it after."

"While I build up energy for my turn." Evan grinned back easily, legs spread and knees drawn up so his feet were flat on the blanket.

Chuck laughed aloud at that as he squeezed the lube out over his fingers. "I like a man with endurance, and you Americans are so uptight you’ve generally got a lot of it." He kissed Evan’s belly again and pressed a finger into his ass, sighing at the tightness.

Evan inhaled sharply and tensed slightly before he forced himself to relax. "It’s been a while," he said. "Just take it slow, ‘kay?"

"As slow as you need, Evanmy," Chuck promised, nuzzling his cheek as he waited for the tight muscles to relax around his finger. "You tell me when you’re ready, or we can wait until you’re _ready_ and I’ll be glad to take everything you’ve got."

"No, no, I’m good." Evan curled his hands around his knees and pulled them back. "I want you in me."

"Well, I’m not going to argue that point," Chuck grinned, kissing Evan while he added a second finger, stroking Evan’s chest as he did so, wanting the other man to enjoy this. Evan groaned into the kiss when Chuck stroked over his prostate, making him thrust against the fingers, seeking more.

Chuck added a third finger as he pulled back, stroking the extra lube over his erection, hissing at the sensation as he was already on edge. "You ready, Evanmy?"

"God yes!" Evan gave him an almost wild-eyed look as he squirmed on the blanket, unable to remain still.

Rubbing his fingers over Evan’s prostate a final time, Chuck pulled them back and settled between Evan’s thighs, positioning himself then pressing forward, sucking in his breath as the tight heat enclosed his cock. Gasping sharply, Evan stiffened, fighting to relax as Chuck slid into him. Despite the preparation it still hurt, but then Chuck pushed a little farther, and the pleasure mixed with the pain, gradually overwhelming it as Evan panted.

"Okay?" Chuck whispered, stroking the sweat from Evan’s face as he struggled to hold still.

"Yeah, I’m good," Evan got out, slowly relaxing, only to tense again with pleasure when he shifted. "God, _move_!"

Chuck gave a blinding smile and brushed a kiss over Evan’s lips before doing just that, rocking back and forth, each stroke going deeper until he was slamming into Evan’s pliant body. Evan arched up to meet each every thrust, groaning with pleasure. He pulled his legs back even more, opening himself to allow Chuck deeper still.

"Oh fuck!" The words were ripped from Chuck’s gut, and he caught Evan by the neck, pulling him up into a voracious kiss that turned into a strained moan when he came.

Evan clenched down around the cock inside him, pulling another groan from Chuck, and he smiled smugly up at his new lover.

"What’s that for?"

"Because it felt damn good."

"Not arguing that one bit!" Knowing that Evan’s legs had to be hurting by now, Chuck rolled to the side and grinned at him. "Not one bit at all."

Evan stretched hugely, enjoying the burn in his ass, and rolled to his side to face Chuck. "I’m definitely going to like Atlantis. Especially if you’d be interested in doing this again."

Chuck ran his hand along Evan’s side, training his fingers over the planes of muscle. "Anytime, anywhere."

Evan leaned close for a kiss before sitting up, wincing slightly as he settled himself cross-legged. "At least I know the CO won’t have problems with it if we slip in public."

"So you know about that?" Chuck waited for the other man to nod, then grinned. "You missed the real shows; before we were in contact with Earth, Col. Sheppard and Dr. McKay were all over each other all the time. Now, they’ve got to be more careful."

"This is careful?" Evan laughed briefly. "I think I might have learned something then."

"Watch how they act when we’re on our own and when the Daedalus is here," Chuck shrugged.

"I will." Evan reached for the pack and began pulling out the food he’d brought. "I’ve noticed that the original expedition members seem pretty close, more like a colony or even family."

Chuck nodded and sat up to help, taking the bottle and mugs and pouring them both generous servings of it. "That first year we were alone out here," he said, suddenly serious. "All we had to depend on was ourselves and the Athosians, and while they could take us to worlds they knew, they weren’t much use when the Wraith came. When—" he paused and rubbed the back of his neck. "When you lose as many people as we did, you hold the ones you have left closer."

It was Evan’s turn to nod. "Just like the SG teams, only bigger." He took a cautious swallow of his drink, already familiar with Halling’s brew. "You have good people here." He didn’t make the mistake of grouping himself with them yet.

As he gathered up some bread and cheese, Chuck nodded. "For the majority. There are still a few assholes; I’m sure you’ve met them by now."

"How _did_ Kavanagh make it through the screening?" Evan wondered.

Chuck snickered and took a drink, shivering as the moonshine burned its way down his throat. "The real question is why hasn’t he been shipped back. Did you know he turned everyone with the gene in the city to the opposite sex?"

Evan’s jaw dropped as he gaped. "You’re kidding! You’re not kidding?" he asked at the slow shake of Chuck’s head. "Holy shit! Uh, how?" he asked nervously, remembering that he had the gene too now.

"It was some piece of Ancient tech; don’t worry, it’s locked away now." Chuck laughed again at the memory. "Man, it was funny; Dr. McKay had tits out to here," he gestured with his mug, spilling some of the moonshine as he did. "Lisa Lindstrom looked damn hot as a man though."

"McKay with tits?" Evan shook his head. "This place is even weirder than the SGC!"

Chuck shrugged and ate another piece of cheese. "It’s the Pegasus galaxy; lots of weird shit here."

"Lots of weird shit back in the Milky Way for that matter. But I’m still glad I’m here." Evan leaned back, basking in the sun.

"I’m glad you’re here too." Chuck leaned back against the tower wall and sighed happily. "Just be careful you don’t get burned anywhere tender. Trust me, you don’t want to hear the jokes Dr. Zelenka will make about why you’re walking funny."

"I think I’d rather not find out for myself." Evan grabbed his t-shirt and dragged it over his lap, just in case.

Chuck chuckled and set aside his mug to stretch. "Good idea, ‘cause I’ve got things I’d like to have done to me that won’t work if you’re burned."

"Oh, I have every intention of doing those things to you in a little while. So eat up; you’ll need the energy." Evan saluted Chuck with his mug.

"Oh, I think it’s you who’s going to need the energy," Chuck murmured, draining his mug and eating some more cheese as the two of them sat, not feeling the need to talk as the sun sank into the ocean.

"You’re right, that is worth seeing," Evan said a little later as the last of the brilliant colors faded from the sky, leaving only the starlight.

"Yeah, it is." But Chuck was looking at the American major and not the sky.

Noticing the direction of his companion’s gaze, Evan grinned. "I’m feeling very energetic all of a sudden."

Seeing a twitch under the shirt in Evan’s lap, Chuck grinned. "I can see that."

"What do you expect when you put so much inspiration in front of me?" Not needing it now that the sun was down, Lorne tossed the shirt aside, exposing his growing erection.

"Only the best, Evanmy, only the best," Chuck laughed, reaching over to stroke the firming flesh. "So, how do you want me? Back? Knees? Against the railing?"

Evan’s eyebrows rose. "Against the railing, huh? I like the way you think, Sergeant. I’ll get two great views." He pushed to his feet, pausing to grab the lube.

Chuck stood as well, using the motion to carry him closer to Evan, and he ran his hands over the major’s back and ass. "Glad I can be inspirational," he murmured before kissing him, rubbing against him until they were both breathless before turning and draping himself over the railing, giving Evan a come-hither smile.

"Make sure you’re braced," Evan said. "I’d hate to have to fish you out of the ocean." He squeezed some of the lube into his hand and warmed it before pressing a finger into Chuck’s ass.

"No thanks." Chuck shuddered and not from the pressure in his ass. "That water’s damn cold." He arched his back and spread his legs wider, bracing himself against the railing as ordered and offering the other man his ass.

"And you’re so very hot," Evan breathed, slowly working that single digit deeper and crooking it.

"Also, damn easy." Chuck groaned when Evan’s finger found his prostate. "But don’t tell anyone." He looked back over his shoulder and winked.

"Naw, I think I’ll keep that to myself. I’ve never been really big on being one of a crowd." Evan added a second finger.

Chuck made a show of looking around the darkening balcony though the soft whimpers he was making proved he wasn’t ignoring Evan’s attentions and how they were affecting him. "Don’t see anyone out here but us."

"But that would change if anyone else knew what they were missing," Evan pointed out. "I like keeping the good stuff to myself. I’m greedy that way." He considered adding another finger, but Chuck had taken the first two easily enough, and he decided that it would be enough. After he teased him a little more first.

"Yeah? Well, I’m greedy in other ways, so if you don’t mind, could you fuck me now?" Chuck asked impatiently, pushing back against Evan’s fingers and tightening down on them.

"I really like that in a man." Evan slicked himself and pressed forward, his hands gripping Chuck’s hips. "Oh God, you feel good."

"Could say the same for you." Chuck rested his head on his forearms for a moment to let himself relax, then shifted, rocking back against Evan’s solid weight.

Evan started a long, deep rhythm, groaning as he moved. His fingers tightened on Chuck’s hips, and he drew him back to meet each thrust. Chuck whimpered, relaxing so as to let Evan control their motions, leaning his weight onto one hand so he could stroke his own cock in time with their motions.

"Fuck yeah." Evan leaned his chin on Chuck’s shoulder so he could look over it and watch Chuck jerk himself off. His thrusts sped up as the sight wound him tighter, and he panted harshly.

"Like to watch?" Chuck asked breathlessly, turning his head enough to rub his face against Evan’s. "I’ll be glad to put on a show for you some time." His hand was moving slowly over his erection, fingertips teasing his balls before moving back up to the head to play with his foreskin.

"I’ll hold you to that," Evan gasped, jerking into him as his cock jumped at the sight. "Damn, that’s hot."

"Fuck—oh yeah—harder," Chuck gasped, tightening his grip on his cock and clenching around Evan’s, wanting it a little rough.

"With... pleasure," Evan gritted out, slamming into Chuck now that he knew he could take it.

Chuck’s vocalizations dissolved into a series of whines and moans with an occasional yip when Evan hit his prostate in just the right way. He rode out the pleasure as long as possible, but the tension gathering at the base of his spine told him there was no more time, and then he was coming, spurting over his belly and hand as he tightened around Evan’s shaft.

Evan groaned out what might have been curses or praise or possibly a new language, and he continued slamming into the spasming body, every ripple in Chuck’s body transferred to his cock. His fingers gripped Chuck’s hips hard enough to bruise, and he yelled loudly as he came not long afterward.

Once he felt Evan slump over his back, Chuck chuckled, reaching back to stroke the other man’s side. "If anyone else was out enjoying the sunset, they just got a hell of a show."

Evan laughed breathlessly. "Audio at least."

Chuck collapsed against the railing, howling with laughter.

Eyebrows rising, Evan stared at him. "Care to share the joke?" he asked as he carefully withdrew from the shaking body.

Gasping for breath, Chuck got his legs under him and turned around, wiping his eyes and leaning back against the railing for support. "When Col. Sheppard and Dr. McKay first got together, the colonel somehow managed to turn on the citywide audio while McKay was fucking him. I thought it was pretty damn hot if you want the truth, but a hell of a lot of people didn’t agree." He snickered, remembering the looks on their faces when they’d finally surfaced the next day.

"They what?" Evan burst into laughter as he sank down to the blanket, imagining that.

"I wouldn’t mention it though," Chuck cautioned as he stretched out his back before sitting down next to Evan. "Dr. McKay is _really_ touchy about it and about the whole thing with the tits. Piss him off and his cart will come after you."

"Yeah, what _is_ the deal with that cart? Half the senior staff treats it like it’s alive."

"I thought you went on some missions with Dr. McKay?"

"Well, yeah, but it wasn’t on the first few, and it’s a _cart_! Why the hell do people talk to it and pet it?" Lorne had only seen it a few times since he didn’t really spend a lot of time around McKay if he could help it, so he’d only had a few encounters with the thing so far.

"First off, don’t call it an it, especially around Col. Sheppard or Dr. McKay; its name is Rover." Chuck grinned at Evan’s incredulous expression. "And it’s a cart, yeah, but a pretty smart one; it’s got some kind of AI that makes it pretty independent—and it likes to pinch people who annoy McKay. Nobody’s sure if it’s him making Rover do it or the cart acting on its own, but I wouldn’t test the theory."

" _Much_ weirder than the SGC," Evan decided, taking another swallow of his drink. "But there are compensations."

"And the pay’s not bad either," Chuck laughed. "Not that you can spend it on anything. So, mind me asking how you ended up here?"

Evan shrugged. "I was assigned to the SGC a few years ago. I didn’t sign on last year because I wasn’t ready to take a one-way trip, but once the Daedalus made it possible to go back and forth, I volunteered. There’s nothing else like going through the gate, and this galaxy something entirely new."

"So..." Chuck grinned and collapsed on the blanket again. "Glad you came?"

"Very much so. Though I could do without Dr. McKay’s neuroses. Did you know that he makes his own sunblock? SPF 100!" Evan shook his head at the memory.

Chuck snickered and bit into one of the applish-looking pieces of fruit Evan had brought with him. "I can believe it; the man thinks he’s dying if he sneezes. I wonder how Col. Sheppard puts up with him because they do seem pretty happy together."

Evan shook his head in disbelief. "I’d shoot him within an hour. But the colonel just looks at him and says ‘Rodney’, and he shuts up. Or at least changes topics." He looked at Chuck curiously. "Is he really as smart as he says he is?"

"Well, maybe not as smart as he says he is, but he’s the smartest person here, and that says a lot. Of course he’s also the biggest asshole here—no, wait, that would be Dr. Kavanagh, but McKay’s a close second."

Evan laughed. "Well, obviously the colonel thinks otherwise. And he can’t be completely terrible; it looked like the doc and that Czech guy are his friends."

"Hey," Chuck protested, "I didn’t say I didn’t like the guy! Hell, he saved our asses plenty of times here; he’s just... McKay." He shrugged again and grinned. "Too complicated for me."

"Are you saying I’m simple?" Evan demanded in mock insult.

"Nope, straightforward. That I appreciate in a man."

Evan grinned and leaned over to kiss him slowly. "Mmmm, you taste good mixed with the Athosian alcohol," he said once he straightened up again. "If I didn’t already say so, I’m really glad you suggested this."

Chuck’s smile had a definite ‘cat who got the cream’ edge to it. "And I’m really glad you took me up on it. Want to try a bed next time?"

"That would probably be a lot more comfortable," Evan agreed easily. "And make showering afterward a hell of a lot more convenient."

"So..." Chuck grabbed his boxers and cleaned himself off before pulling his cut off fatigues on again. "Whatcha doing tomorrow night?"

"You." Lorne grinned widely.

Chuck roared with laughter before leaning over and kissing Evan soundly. "Good answer, Major."

"That’s why I’m a major, Sergeant." He helped himself to another ‘apple’ and handed another to Chuck.

"All it means to me is that you’re the one who gets to make the tough decisions; I get to push the pretty crystals and report what people say."

Evan laughed. "I think there’s a bit more to you than that, or you wouldn’t be here in the first place, but I’m looking forward to learning all your secrets. As for the tough decisions," he shrugged, "sure, sometimes, but around here it’s Weir, Sheppard and McKay who make most of those."

"Shh," Chuck laughed, biting into the fruit and licking the juice from his fingers, "don’t ruin my ‘pretty but shallow’ rep!"

Evan gave him a conspiratorial grin. "It is fun surprising the hell out of people who assume you got promotions on your knees, isn’t it?"

"If that was the case, I’d have more braid on my jacket than Col. Sheppard, and yeah, it is. Are you saying they think the same about you?"

"Some do. It’s hard being beautiful."

"We do bear up under the burden well though," Chuck laughed.

Evan snickered. "We’re just so wonderful."

"Damn right! So, think we should take our wonderfulness inside soon? The temperature dips out here at night."

Lorne gave an exaggerated shiver. "Inside is good." He eyed Chuck. "You know, my bed’s not very comfortable. Know anybody who’d be willing to share?"

Chuck smirked as he helped Evan clean up their picnic remains. "Oh, I can think of at least one person who’d agree as long as you promise not to steal the blankets."

"The blankets are not my preferred heat source in bed." Evan grinned and gestured toward the door once everything was back in his pack and Chuck had gathered up the blanket. "Lead on, MacDuff."

END


End file.
